so im babysitting this girl right now and we’re watching tv and the satellite sort of cut out cause it was raining really hard
so i just said “thunder god if you give back our satellite i’ll give you ice cream”
a second later the thunder clapped again and our tv came back
the girl is forcing me to hold up my end of the deal so guess who’s making ice cream for the thunder god
YOU KNOW HOW BABIES GET ALL QUIET AND CALM WHEN THEY SEE A MOBILE
SO APPARENTLY THEY DO THIS BECAUSE THE MOBILE RESEMBLES BIRDS OF PREY FLYING OVERHEAD THAT COULD POTENTIALLY CARRY THEM OFF
IT’S A EVOLUTIONARY PRECEDENT SO THAT IF THE BABY STAYS STILL THE BIRD WON’T NOTICE AND EAT IT
BABIES DON’T LIKE MOBILES
THEY’RE FUCKING TERRIFIED
I am more than a bit disturbed by how hard I laughed at this.
whenever my pets sigh im just like i know how u feel bby talk 2 me
“You shouldn’t be walking alone at this time of night.”
No,
actually.
People shouldn’t fucking attack other people at any time of day.
(Source: trentaicedcoffee)
buttons
On Easter, we had this tradition where an old man down the road would paint little ‘bunny’ prints along the sidewalk, as well as up to the door of every house where a child lives…and he’s done this every year, without fail, since before I was born.
Over the summer, that old man passed away, so no one in their right mind expected to see the tracks this year. However, when I woke up- there they were!
Turns out that his eighteen year old grandson (who happens to be known as the badass of our school) got up at three this morning and spent four hours- by himself -painting the prints; just to make sure that the neighborhood kids wouldn’t be disappointed.
My faith in our generation = restored.
This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.
when im older and my kid needs me to sign something for school im just gonna write “Dad” in really crappy handwriting so it seems like my kid forged my signature and the teacher calls to tell me and im just “yes no it is i dad”
i posted this when i accidentally took too much medication
screw you guys
have you ever looked at your gf/bf and thought
wow
how did i get so lucky
yeah
wugs:
wugs:
In French, you don’t really say “fuck me.” You say “mets ta baguette magique dans mon four,” which is closer to “put your magic baguette in my oven.”
I love that. Baguettes in ovens. It’s about food.
I’m French and I’m pretty sure you say ‘casse-moi’ which means something like ‘break me’. Just saying.
no that doesn’t make sense that’s much too violent
the french dont like violence they like bread
